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  Read More Articles February, 2002
February Guest Article
The Internet Adventures Of Stupidman - 14 newbie written, usually humorous, sequential articles.

Enjoy reading!

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3  Part 4

Introduction

I have know R.H. Jaycox (Jay), the author of Internet Profit Pearls, for over a decade. A while back he asked me to read a pre-final draft (don't know how many pre-s I should really use) of the book. Technically I don't have a clue of what he was talking about but,having lost money through an earlier investment,I recognized the truth he was describing. In Chapters 4&11 he recommended writing articles for ezines as a way of promoting a business. I wrote one, showed it to him and he liked it. Jay suggested that I write a series from my ignorant perspective as I try to implement the suggestions in the "final?" draft of the book.

I've titled the series,"The Internet Adventures of Stupidman" and the original piece, " The Birth of Stupidman".The moniker seems appropriate as it is how I feel when I try to do something on the computer and it seems to reflect the attitude I get from my teenagers when I try to share my "wisdom" on any subject.

Jay said I should share a little background. This is my second marriage. The Boss and I live with my 13 year old son,Greased Lightning, and his 15 year old sister,Fashion Girl.

The Boss is one of those people who buys new technology before her neighbors can spell it. (She bought a microwave oven when they were so big they needed a separate room.)

She's been on the internet since shortly after Al Gore invented it. She doesn't do sophisticated things on the internet but due to her seniority she's The Boss.

Greased Lightning is scary, he reads books about HTML, Java, JavaScript, encryption (Is there a Hacking for Dummies?). His fingers are a blur on the keyboard and his explanations are fast and condescending.

Fashion Girl listens to music on the internet, designs art and wardrobes, fills up shopping carts until the wheels fall off and tries to find my credit cards.

Greased Lightning serves the function of our house dog. If somebody passes gas and chooses not to accept the responsibility the dog is blamed. Greased Lightning is our farting dog. If the computer crashes The Boss assumes it was something caused by Greased Lighting even if he has not used the computer in several days.

I'm afraid to try things on the computer as I don't want to become the farting dog. It's safer to be Stupidman.

Jay thinks there are a lot of people in the world who might have good ideas and are also afflicted with keyboard phobia. He says if I share my learning experiences (frustrations are more like it) it will make the world a better place, yada yada yada. Who's kidding who, if you buy through my URL (Greased Lightning goes crazy when I call it an Earl) I make $10. Remember, this idea came from Chapters 4&11.

The Birth of Stupidman

I used to be smart. Not only did I believe it but many people (including bosses) told me I was smart. In college I learned a little FORTRAN and COBOL (main frame computer languages that are probably extinct by now). In the 70's and 80's I was a whiz at programming PCs in Lotus and Supercalc.

But something happened, one night while I was sleeping, the internet was born and I became a dinosaur.

While I was not getting it, everybody else was launching dot coms or working out of their homes for 20 minutes a day while making bazillions of dollars. Even teenagers were getting rich!

Other than the author of Internet Profit Pearls (and he's not sharing), I don't personally know anybody who has been "successful" with internet commerce, but, from what the media tells me it's all the people I don't know.

Towards the end of the dot com boom(naturally) I put some money into a "can't miss" "ground floor" opportunity and touted it to friends and relatives. It missed, ended up in the basement, lost the money and friends but at least my family has started returning my calls.

I recently read a book, "Internet Profit Pearls", which belatedly explains what I, my former friends and family did wrong and actually has some helpful suggestions as to how one might make money on the internet without spending much money. You can read the first few chapters for free and if you want the entire book it will cost you $30.

Some of the stuff is a little technical but fortunately my 13 year old son understands it (now if I could find a translator maybe I could understand what the boy said).

Go on reading: Top right

The book contains fortysomething affiliate links. Most of these links are free and each creates the possibility of an income stream. The affiliate links are spread throughout the book. You can actually get something for nothing.

The part I really liked; after you buy the book you can "brand" and resell it and earn about $10 per copy and about another $5 if it gets resold(think I still have some relatives I can talk to).

The writing of this book review came from some strategies in Chapters 4 and 11 and has inspired me to write a series where I,Stupidman,attempt to accomplish some technical tasks suggested in the book.

Stupidman Downloads, Copies a File

Some superheroes drink a potion,take a pill,utter some magic words. I put my fingers on a keyboard and become STUPIDMAN.

I am currently reading the free chapters of the new e-book "Internet Profit Pearls" (IPP). I understand the explanations of why some popular strategies don't work and the advantages of some lesser used,yet cost effective methods. My problem is implementing the tactics. But apparently I'm not alone.

One tactic is creating a "junk" email address. I went to a free email service and thought Stupidman needs an email address. Guess what? Stupidman was taken, in fact the first three versions were taken. I finally secured a version but even creating an email address does not come easy for me.

Downloading the book was easy(at least it was with Winzip) but then IPP says I have to make a copy. Never having made a copy my blood pressure begins to rise, but there is a link to a tutorial site and a brief description of the steps for copying. Wanting to delay the inevitable and avoid becoming farting dog(see previous articles) I click the tutorial.

Remembering we have Windows 98, I select it, then "getting started" and......get the old "the page cannot be displayed notice". (Sometimes I think this is a cookie that attaches to me rather than a computer.) After two more attempts I give up and return to IPP.

For those of you who know what you are doing, this next passage is really boring and is intended for soul mates of Stupidman.

Usually my son, Greased Lightning, ignores everything I say but one time he responded to my mutterings about the wasted printer ribbon and paper when I would print a 22 page article and only wanted 3 paragraphs. He responded, contemptuously of course, by showing me how to select a portion of the article. Click the cursor (also known as the curser when your hand twitches) at the top left corner of what you want to copy, left click and hold,then drag to bottom right corner of what you want to copy. This highlighted area can be printed. Now hold the Ctrl key down and press P. A gray page will pop up, click selection (it's in the middle on the left side) then ok. If you have paper in the printer(a future article?) you'll get a copy of exactly what you want. (Warning: More than likely the gray page defaults to all. If you get too cocky with this new technique you will forget to click selection and end up with 22 pages of stuff).

Using this valuable technique, I copy the instructions on how to copy a file. (I'm a lot more comfortable with hard copy in one hand while I hit the wrong keys with the other.) (In a future article I'll describe some of the experiences I've had with the Alt key.)

Instructions in hand, I try to copy the file/book. Unfortunately,as I found out the next day, the instructions were written for PKzip while I have Winzip. But 30 minutes later,mostly due to hesitancy and farting dog phobia, I end up with a good copy of the book by following the instructions within Winzip.(I really don't know how it happened as the memory is very blurred.)

A word of caution to members of the tribe of Stupidman who are reading the book. Chapter 3 is very technical and full of alphabet soup. If you are like me you will be less stressed if you read the last screen of Chapter 3 (the material in the yellow box) before you read the rest of the chapter. (It's ok to do this,it's not like reading the last page of a mystery when you are in the middle of the book.)

Go on reading:

  • Stupidman Brands, Sends Email Attachment
  • Stupidman Creates SIG File, Opens Lock

    Three free chapters of IPP Can Be Downloaded At http://www.thecassiopeia.com/Portal/ipp.zip

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    Copyright 2002, Skidthrough Enterprises

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