Stupidman Composes The Adventures With all the bragging I've done about my manual dexterity you are probably shocked to discover I write all of these "Adventures" long hand. It's true! Other than running out of ink or paper there is nothing to disturb the flow of thought (no infernal Alt or Ctrl keys). In fact, I wrote the first five articles (which became the first four publications) before I was pressured into typing. (Family members complained they could not read my handwriting, especially if Greased Lightning was trying to scan it into an email attachment.) My advisors said I shouldn't use Word and some other popular software that I can't remember as it wouldn't format properly for some of the ezine publishers. I received a free copy of Note Tab Lite (Lite means it's free but does not have spell check) which was already set on courier font (another recommendation). The Boss showed me how to open a file (click file, new), duh. (In retrospect, when I write these experiences I really, really feel stupid, the only redemptions in admitting this stuff is I know I'm not the only person who is dealing with it and maybe if I tell the truth you will support my quest to become a bazillionaire.) I spent a couple of hours typing and ran them through the email spell check before sending them (Ctrl C, Ctrl V) to the person who recommended Note Tab Lite (with hindsight, I should have upgraded for $10 and had the spell check at the source). The next day I'm told I should have used a column width of 60 or less (the default was 70). I'm crushed, my fingers are still tired from the day before. I blow it off and spend the rest of the day digging up part of my sewer line. The next day, with partial instructions, I go into Note Tab, click documents, properties and change the default (many times) from 70 to 60, to no avail. Finally, (Why do you always find it in the last place you look?) I notice "use default settings" is checked, which means every time I leave that screen the 70 returns. After turning that off the document is reformatted from 70 to 60. After doing this to all the files (each file is a separate document) I have transmittable documents. (Note of caution; don't set it lower than 60 as it chops the line off and puts the excess characters on a separate line.) Guess who did that? (See what happens when I try to experiment.) It wouldn't go back automatically so I had to fix every individual line in one of the Adventures. The last things I had to do were create a resource box (my URL, tag line) and the notice towebmasters/mistresses, ezine publishers about it being okay to reprint as long as nothing gets changed. A couple of issues ago I thought I could combine composing and publishing in one article but I discovered enough ironies in publishing to warrant a separate article (maybe two articles). Stupidman Gets Published Part I My first four articles (I'm going to start calling them chapters) are ready to launch. Mom thinks they're funny but she's 85 and I'm the youngest son ( she might be biased). I showed the articles to a couple of people who owed me money. They said I was hilarious but they also wanted to borrow more money. I think I have enough material to find out if strangers like "Stupidman" i.e., me. One of the affiliates I signed up with, as part of branding Internet Profit Pearls, was an operation that automated the ezine publishing process. They sent me a free mini course that had a lot of sources for marketing ezines and for publishing articles. Every lesson and follow up was very personal and appeared to be signed by a human being who cared about me as an individual and always left an email address and invited me to communicate with him (like,"I'll come to dinner in a minute honey, I have to answer Stupidman's email first"). Two weeks ago I emailed him back and sent him the first chapter of Stupidman, asking his opinion. I still have not heard from him about my email (and I thought we were buddies) although I've received two or three more emails asking why I have not bought any of his products (guess that's how an auto responder works). (Stupidman will always respond to your emails, so go ahead and drop $30 on Internet Profit Pearls, make Stupidman a bazillionaire.) Yeah, I know that was a crass self promotion. But I really need the money....I mean, your support. Before I realized my "buddy" was going to blow me off I was thinking about buying his product. (Even though I had my doubts, I was willing to support my friend.) He had a product that was going to personalize my cover letter and "blast" (his word) it to over 500 ezines that were dying for original content(I may write an entire article on "original content". My ox has been gored on this subject.) How can someone have a business that "personalizes" everybody"s cover letter and blasts=spams it at the same 500 ezines? Won't the recipients figure it out? Won't somebody (maybe you?) write software that detects these "personalized" cover letters? (Doesn't it sound like an arms race? I read the Russians have now developed a Stealth Detector.) As long as we are not going to be buddies I might as well check out the free information he gave me. One of the lessons contained colored addresses (URLS) of ezine directories. I investigated a few and found one that had a list of ezines that wanted material. Once I clicked on the "submit article" box, my email popped up with their address already there. Go on reading: Top right